Breathing Exercises for Anxiety – Why They're Not Working
- nicole@thehayscounselling.co.uk
- Jul 10
- 4 min read
One of the first things I suggest to clients who are struggling with anxiety, stress, or panic is to incorporate breathing and grounding exercises into their routine. Controlled breath is one of the quickest “off” switches for the fight-flight physical stress response and can be a highly effective and powerful tool in a client’s toolbox. [See also: Why the Fight Flight Response Can Be the Worst Enemy to Positive Mental Health]
However, despite its effectiveness, many clients struggle to adopt breath work and give up after a few attempts. The most common responses I hear are:
“I did try it – but it doesn’t work for me.”
“Focusing on my breath makes me feel worse, not better.”
“I tried it, but the panic attacks kept happening.”
And to be fair, I understand how they feel. In my twenties, during a debilitating period of anxiety and stress, I was offered a self-help programme on how to breathe. I felt it was patronising, dismissive, and futile. If it was that easy, why was I in such distress?
Yet, decades later, after much trial and error, I am convinced. My own breathing and grounding exercises have become my mental health superpower. They serve as quick resets during the day – when the dog barks, the to-do list spirals or when overwhelm hits. Breathing helps me pause, check in, and restart with calmness.
Here are common struggles people encounter and ways to overcome them:
1. It Takes Practice – It’s Not a Quick Fix
The fight-flight system is a life-or-death response. It isn’t switched off by a few breaths every now and again. It needs regular, consistent, and convincing evidence that your breathing exercise is a trustworthy signal to relax.
Start small but regular. Instead of half an hour’s deep meditation once a week, spend a few minutes several times a day mindfully breathing. Over time, you’ll be able to do it on the bus, in a Zoom meeting, or while walking. But initially, practice in a calm, private place.
A good guide is to practice at least twice a day for five minutes each.
2. You Need to Practice When You’re Calm
If you only focus on your breath in the middle of a panic attack, you’ll likely notice how erratic your breathing feels – and zoning in on that can be frightening. Your frontal lobes go offline, adrenaline surges, and your breath becomes fast and shallow. It’s a hard place to start – like learning to swim by jumping straight into the deep end.
Also, if you always practice while anxious, your mind will start associating breathwork with anxiety itself, solidifying a negative link. Instead, start when you’re calm and centred – when your system is more receptive and ready to learn.
3. It Takes Trial and Error to Find What Works for You
There is no one-size-fits-all. The general principle is to visualise a relaxing, peaceful image or scene and to slow down your breathing; exhaling longer than you inhale so that you move from fast, shallow breaths to deep, calm belly breaths.
Explore different guided sessions online (examples below) to find styles of breathing and imagery that suit you. After you’ve explored some different approaches, you can pick and choose the elements that suit you. If seaside imagery feels unsettling (e.g. if you fear tsunamis), choose something else. Change your imagery whenever needed – you aren’t tied to one visual forever.
4. It Might Feel Worse before it Feels Better
Especially if you only practice while anxious. Focusing on your breath can initially intensify fear, make you feel short of breath and can signal your body to ramp up the fight-flight response. Although off-putting, this reaction is temporary and only prominent when you first start practicing.
Imagine it like a wave that will pass over you if you let it. Use calming phrases such as:
“I am safe. This is my body adjusting. It will pass.”
“I can show my system that I’m in charge; that it is safe to calm down.”
Remember, you’re learning a new skill. Your body won’t trust it immediately, but the scientific evidence for breathing exercises as an anxiety coping tool is overwhelmingly conclusive.
5. You Give Up When You Feel Better
This is like ditching healthy eating once you’ve lost weight. Unless you remove all stress and anxiety from your life (unlikely!), you’re at risk of backsliding. The body needs regular, consistent signals to stay balanced and calm.
Above all - don’t give up! Practice. Find what’s right for you. Once you find exercises that work, they should feel enjoyable and effortless – lifelong tools to keep you relaxed, grounded, and resilient.
Further Reading and Ideas
Ideas for soothing imagery:
Imagine you are gently swaying in a hammock under dappled sunlight.
Picture a leaf bobbing along a meandering stream.
Visualise yourself lying in a hay field hidden by tall grass.
For each, imagine what you can feel, smell, touch, see, and hear.
Ideas for breathing visualisations:
In-breath: golden warm light travelling from toes to head, filling you with healing warmth.
Out-breath: carrying away aches, pains, or worries from head to toes, cleansing as it flows out.
Online Resources
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